Just a little update:

Daniel is growing like a weed. I feel he is struggling with being a "big" boy and is wanting to hold on to his little boyness for as long as he can. He still loves to have me put on his shoes and socks and help him get dressed or put his blanket like a "square" (he is ocd about how his blanket needs to be lined up with his bed at night), all are things he is perfectly capable of doing on his own. He has asked me if I will still love him when the new baby comes. I said of course I will. He has a tender heart and his new favorite book is I'll Love you Forever I think it's because he

wants to know that is us. He is running and jumping and kicking and being a boy. He is perfectly healthy (thankfully) and hitting all his mile stones. We had a yearly check up and he is 41 lbs which is 75th percentile and 42 inches tall which puts him in the 90th percentile, his eyesight is great and so is his hearing. He is FULL of questions. I really get frustrated with the amount of questions he asks daily, hourly by the minute. I realize he is curious and wants to know so much but its hard to constantly answer a chain of 50 questions knowing full well that whatever answer I give will lead to another question. He is getting better with playing pretend and entertaining himself. I love the games he comes up with or the objects that turn into talking things that he can have conversations with. He has a great imagination. I love him so much!

Maggie is also growing so fast. She is 34 inches and 27 lbs both 75th percentile. She too is healthy and hitting her milestones. Just recently I've noticed that she has really caught on to talking. She's using sentences like "I want water" or "I want to see". My current favorite is "I don't know" with a very cute shoulder shrug. She loves candy. If she could that is all she would eat. Poptarts, m&m's, chocolate, jellybeans, gum, cookies the list goes on and on. She is all girl. She has a new pair of sunglasses that she loves to wear in the car, and she loves LOVES shoes. Any and all. She got a pair of rain boots for Easter and the girl has not gone a day without wearing them. Monday morning the first thing she said was "A boots". She insisted on wearing them to church and not her cute new sandals. They are a little too big but she will grow into them. She is the opposite of Daniel and is very independent almost to much so. She loves to do things on her own and often throws a tantrum if I do it for her before she has tried. Tantrums are a new added joy also. Man can that girl go from perfectly happy to full on screaming fit on the floor fast. She of course has that high pitched lovely scream that adds extra volume to our home. She is a little sassy and if she doesn't like something she lets you know with a high pitched "No!" Time out hasn't been the most effective form of punishment but I'm trying. She melts my heart. David says that she's got me wrapped around her little finger and it's true. I hate it when she is sad and crying. She is my shadow. She is always following me and watching me. If I shower she needs to shower, if I put on deodorant she needs it, if I brush my teeth she asks for her toothbrush. Tonight I put on a sweater and she scrunched up her shoulders and said "Brr, a jacket mom?" So we went to her closet and got her a sweater too. She really is such a sweet little girl. I love her.

Maggie and Daniel play so well together. No they are not perfect. She hits him and yells at him and he pushes her over and teases her endlessly. When it really comes down to it I have no doubt that they love each other. He is so sweet to her and she is so sweet back. They love helping each other out. Maggie always asks for a snack for Daniel if I give her one. Daniel helps her all the time. I'm so interested to see how this third little baby will add and change our family. I hope that he will always feel as loved and feel like his siblings love him and are his best friends.

As for me I've got 23 more days before this little baby joins our family. I feel like he is so much more active then my last two babies which kind of scares me. I keep thinking about all I have/want to do before he comes and I know that the really important stuff will get done and everything else won't.

I have a lot of anxiety lately. I can't sleep at night unless I'm heavily drugged. I think this transition is going to be hard for all of us for different reasons. For me its 3 kids, the thought of loading 3 kids into my car and totting them around where ever I go stresses me out. The thought of taking care of the there daily needs and wants is even more stressful. The added laundry. The sleep deprivation. Living so very far away from my family who has always been my support and help.

The one thing that brings me great comfort and joy, is I will have a new little spirit in my home. One sent straight to me from my Father in Heaven. One to cuddle and squeeze and nurse and have all to myself (and the other 3 people in our family) A new person full of endless potential and surprises.

I've haven't been myself for most of this pregnancy, I've been so unbalanced. I feel so different, more angry and tired and short tempered, so quick to yell and then cry, I'm just not myself. It's so hard to enjoy my kids when I feel this way. I'm trying to be positive. I'm trying to focus on my strengths and talents and not compare myself to others, and really focus on what I am good at. I'm trying to let the small stuff go and focus on what really matters my family. I'm trying to be more faithful to trust in my Heavenly Father and know that he knows what I am going through and truly loves me. I just want to be happy and I hope and pray that when this baby is born my hormones will go back to normal and I will feel like Emily again. Only time will tell. I know there is plenty of room for improvement but maybe right now is a bad time to try that. Maybe right now I just need to be ok with who I am and realize that things will get better and will get easier.

Sorry this post was just supposed to be a little update and ended up being a Journal entry. I just needed to get my feelings out.

It's all about perspective

David's cousins have a Cousins Blog. It's exclusive for the girls and we each take a week and post about whatever we want to. It's my week to post and this was my original post for today:

Let me explain the "importance" of these treats. I LOVE the seasonal Reese's, i.e. eggs at Easter, pumpkins at Halloween, trees at Christmas and hearts for Valentines. They have the PERFECT ratio of chocolate/peanut butter and I mean PERFECT! I treat them like gold and rarely ever share them. They are hidden in the highest cupboard. At the end of a long day they really make me feel so much better with a nice glass of milk. Only draw back they are chocolate which gives me very bad acid reflex during pregnancy. That being said to have 4 of them in one sitting is a big deal. 1. they are my "GOLD" and 2. I chanced acid reflex for them. I even thought as I pulled out the 4th "is it worth it?". Now it would be an even bigger deal if these were eggs because after Easter there aren't any till Halloween, so the worth of my gold goes up, way up. It wasn't the worst day ever but it was long!

-kids woke up 30 mins earlier than they normally do

-Maggie took her morning "nap" in the car on the way to drop D off at Joy School

-I got lost in the "Ghetto" trying to find an auto parts store to buy new light bulbs for my brake lights (seriously GPS systems should post the crime rate in the areas you have to drive through so you can drive through the safer ones. I hate getting lost here)

-After installing said brake lights I shut the trunk with my keys inside and because I was in the Ghetto my car was locked. The lady that was helping me asked me "well are any of your windows cracked?" Yeah right! I want my car to be there when I return.

-Maggie had on no shoes because I was just "running" in to buy the bulbs and was sick of putting them back on her feet

-I waited at Pep Boys with a bare foot child for another 45 mins before someone could come unlock my car (we didn't get a spare when we bought it).

This all happened before 11 in the morning. My afternoon was a little more mild with only one mess party as Daniel put it. You can look at my Facebook for pictures of that party. I had (before all this happened) told David that I didn't mind him going on splits with the missionaries that night which meant he wasn't going to be home until after 8.

I enjoyed every single bite of those Reese's Hearts(not the tums I had to take 30 mins later) Hopefully I never have to post a picture of a 4 egg day.

I just needed to get that off my chest so that I could have a better day today. My kids have already been up for an hour and I've just made them stay in their beds because 5:30 is not an acceptable time to wake up.

Today is going to be better because I'm going to be better. I'm going to be more patient and kinder and laugh at the things that happen.

Thanks for letting me complain a little.

HERE'S TO A BETTER DAY FOR ALL OF US.

After I went back and read through it I felt a little silly complaining about the events that took place yesterday morning. So I added this to my post:

***Update(5 mins after original post):

Now that I write this down it doesn't seem all that bad. I was taken care of and there are hidden blessings in each of those "trials" like

-Maggie took a nap so she was happy for that 45 mins.

-I had a GPS to get me to my destination

-I didn't get shot while in the ghetto and my car didn't get stolen.

-I was stuck at a place where people were nice to me and didn't mind my crazy barefoot child running around.

-My insurance covered the cost of the Pop a Lock services.

I guess there are always two ways to look at your day. A 4 Reese's day should turn into a celebration for all the blessings I've been given, not just surviving the crazy.

It's all about perspective. I have been told countless times through out my life and by a countless number of people that I need to focus on the good in life. It even says that in my Patriarchal blessing. This is probably the hardest thing for me. It is so natural to look at the bad because it's everywhere. It's so easy to feel sorry for myself when I've had a bad day and complain. It's so easy to miss all the little blessings that come daily from my Father in Heaven.

So I am making a goal for myself to change my perspective. Instead of looking at my day and all the things that went wrong and how hard it was, I'm going to focus on all that went right. All the good that happened. That also goes for the good that I've done. I'm imperfect, we all are and I really am good at focusing on my imperfections. I tried to write a list the other day about my strengths, something I've been told I need to focus on, and I couldn't come up with anything. I know I have talents and strengths but I rarely think of them. I could list off all the things I'm really bad at easy.

I let Satan take over far too much. I want to be closer to my Father in Heaven and My Savoir. I want to be a better wife for David and mom for my children. I want to be a better person for myself.

Beach

In NOLA we hibernate in the Summer. It is so miserably hot and the humidity is killer. Luckily we are blessed with days like today before that horrible ones. We spent the morning at the beach, just the kids and I and it was so much fun! I really am a lucky mom to have these two in my life.

If Maggie only knew how vulnerable D was...

Temple

Today we were able to make a family trip up to the Baton Rouge Temple. Its a nice 1 hour drive over the swamp and through a beautiful neighborhood with dreamy house and property. The temple is TINY! Our ward provided babysitting which means we were able to do a session together while our kids were well taken care of at the church across the parking lot. Its so nice to be able to go to the Temple and refresh. We left our house at 7:30 and didn't get home till 1:3o. Nothing like driving 3/4 blocks and dropping the kids off at Grandma and Grandpas.

Mardi Gras

Mardi Gras is a CRAZY time down here. We really enjoy our parades! This year we went to a total of 3 parades. It paid off with a lot of beads and a lot of "prizes"(JUNK).The first one we went we were FREEZING! We were all bundled up in our winter gear and still froze. My Aunt Lisa brought her kids down and we all went together to our second one. It was pouring rain. At one point Daniel stepped in a puddle and got wet up to his thighs but we being crazy parents pushed onward. Several times we asked ourselves what we were doing but we just kept walking the 8 blocks from our car. By the time we got to our spot we were all soaked to the bone and we only lasted 30mins before turning around and going home. Our 3rd one was a much warmer and a lot of fun. Its times like these that we really love living here fully experiencing the culture. If you are ever in New Orleans find during Mardi Gras find a family parade they are well worth it. Most of the pictures are just from our first one but I'll try and get the others loaded.

One Year

One year ago today we headed east 1700 miles to begin the New Orleans chapter of our lives. It has been by far the hardest thing I have EVER done. I'm not an adventurous person. The farthest I'd ever lived away from my parents was Provo a nice 20 min drive. I'd never been to New Orleans and David had only been once for 3 days. Yet we packed up our little apartment and our family and did what we knew we were supposed to do. I can't tell you how grateful I am that we followed the spirit and came here. Its not easy for me, there are days I cry, sometimes lots of days, because I miss my family and the friends back in Utah. David and I both have felt that had we stayed we would have been blessed, we still would have grown and been fine. But here we are growing 10 times faster. We are given opportunities that we never would have been given had we stayed. We rely on each other more than ever because we are all we have. We rely on the people in our ward who have become our support and family. Our testimonies are being strengthened and we are able to share them in ways never imagined.

I'd like to say that I'm more brave. I can drive downtown by myself and flip a U turn like no bodies business. I can drive over most bridges with only minor anxiety, except the Huey P Long which is the freakiest bridge in the world, think two tight lanes with giant trains passing overhead. I can order at Popeyes with the pushy lady whose accent was impossible to understand the first time I heard it. I can talk to people and invite them to activities. I've gone on splits with the missionaries and shared my humble little testimony and felt it grow as I shared it.

I can look at the really difficult times and see the tender mercies of my Savior. One that stands out in particular was when our car was totaled. David had such a positive attitude about it. He knew we'd be taken care of and blessed. I had a horrible attitude and why us, why now when we don't have anyone to help us, a lets just go home cause I don't want to grow like this attitude. Then a family moved into our ward just 4 weeks after we lost our car. They were looking to sale their practically perfect new car for just a thousand dollars more than we got from the insurance. A car that was one size bigger than our last one and could fit 3 car seats. 2 months later we found out that baby #3 was going to be joining our family. We would have had to get a bigger car regardless and there is no way we would have gotten enough off a trade in. Crashing that car was a HUGE blessing in disguise.

I don't feel worthy of the blessings we have been given. Especially because I have such a bad attitude sometimes in the midst of the trial. I'm learning to be more positive and to have more faith.

I am scared out of my mind to have this baby here. I have a new doctor that I'm not really excited about and I'm delivering at a new hospital. I have no clue how this will all play out but I'm trying to be brave. So far Heavenly Father hasn't let me down and I've been promised he never will so I just keep telling myself that I've done this twice and 3rd times a charm, right?

Anyways I just wanted to celebrate our first year and share my feelings.

Here are the highlights of our year:

dealt with a moving company for the first time (not recommended)

drove three days across the US.

moved into a house we had only seen twice and signed our lives away for a year

celebrated our first and now second Mardi Gras

Experienced the South in a way totally unexpected(LIVING HERE).

Totaled our car

Bought a new car

Decided to add baby #3

David was called as Elders Quourum Pres after only living here a month

I got my first group of friends since High School

We drove to Birmingham twice

We visited Memphis and of course Graceland and personal dream come true

Had more visitors than we could ever have imgained (thank you for all coming out to see us)

Got to go to the Sweet 16 and watch BYU play

Drove back to Utah without stopping for sleep, 29 hours straight through

Found a fun and close beach

Had my first Popeyes biscuit (heavenly)

Paid our first real power bill

Went on splits with the missionaries

Rode a ferry boat

Drove across the 2nd longest bridge in the world at least a dozen times

Flew to Utah twice by myself and back

Experienced 98 degrees and 100% humidity (also not recommended)

Had big cockroaches in my house

Daniel started preschool

Maggie did just about everything this past year even celebrated her first birthday

New Goal

I feel like this blog is neglected. My goal is to post something, anything, once a week, hopefully including a picture of what we've done the past week. Lets see if I can succeed.

Daniel calls me Mother. It melts my heart. I have no clue why he has started this but I love it. He is adorable.

Daniels answers at Age 4:

1. What is your favorite color? Black
2. What is your favorite toy? Dinosaurs
3. What is your favorite fruit? Apple
4. What is your favorite TV show? Dinosaur Train
5. What is your favorite Movie? Alpha and Omega

6. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Pizza

7. What is your favorite game? Risk

8. What is your favorite snack? Veggie Straws
9. What is your favorite animal? A Horse
10. What is your favorite song? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

11. What is your favorite book? Quick as a Cricket
12. Who is your best friend? Thomas

13. What is your favorite cereal? Cinnamon Toast crunch
14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Play basketball
15. What is your favorite drink? Apple Juice
16. What is your favorite holiday? Thanksgiving

17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? My Giraffe, B and Leedly
18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Hot Cereal
19. What do you want for dinner on your birthday? BBQ Chicken and Potatoes and a rainbow cake

20. What do you want to be when you grow up? A Dad

He's 4!!! I can't believe that he is actually 4. He has loved every minute of his day. From opening presents to being sung to in primary, getting a crown making his birthday cake he loved it all. The one thing I was the most impressed with was how gracious he was. While opening his presents he kept saying "wow that's so nice of them" or "they are awesome". Not a single negative remark. He even let Maggie play with his new gifts right after being opened. He is an amazing young man and I am so blessed he is my son. I love him so much!

Oh BOY!!!

We found out today that our new little bundle of joy, baby #3 is a BOY!!! We were so surprised. We have always felt like Maggie and this baby would be closer in age so naturally assumed it was going to be a girl. I kept going back and forth but honestly had no impression either way(I knew what the first two were before they told me). I hoped for a boy this time. I wanted Daniel to have a brother close plus girls aren't all fun and games. Maggie is a pure joy but she's put my desire for another girl on the back burner, one day I hope she will get a sister. I am so excited, Daniel is so excited, David it also and Maggie really has no clue what's happening but she loves babies so she will be fine. I'm so excited to get out all the little baby boy clothes!!! I feel so blessed everything looked great and do far we have a perfectly healthy little baby boy. He has such a cute profile. It looks a lot like Daniels. I'll try to post it. Oh and my due date is May 16th.

Daniel Has a Secret

He was so "secret" about his secret. He didn't tell a soul.

***There is a video clip of D telling his secret attached to this post. It doesn't show up on my phone but it does on the computer. So if you are wondering what the secret is watch the clip***

Happy Halloween

update

Right now blogger hates me. I've been trying to add pictures from our recent adventures up North for a week now and all it does is give me a never ending loading sign. So we are doing well. Welcoming happily the cooler days we are having squished inbetween the really hot ones.
Daniel has started Joy School. There are 3 other little kids in his group and he loves it. Sadly he is the little trouble maker and the only one that has to sit in "the grey" chair which is basically time out. We are daily working on not hitting and fighting with friends. Its not that he is trying to be mean and hurt them he just really likes to play rough. Put I'm assured that he is a good sharer and helps clean up just a little violent. He is growing up so fast and I can't believe how much he has changed. He is dead set on marrying MaKayla his best friend. Don't worry its not till after his mission and they are going to get married in the Temple even if she doesn't want to.
Miss Maggie has changed the most and continues to change daily. She is ALL GIRL. She loves shoes and that is normally the first thing she will bring me in the morning to put on. She carries around a little red first aide kit bag like its a purse. She LOVES babies. She always says "oh Baby" in a high pitched shriek. Her current vocabulary includes, hi, up, bubbles, baby, ball, brober (brother) Dada, momm, no, wov you (I love you). She is constantly going. Her morning routine is to go from cupboard to cupboard emptying out everything. She will start in the kitchen and empty out all the art supplies then after I get after her for doing that she moves to the bathroom and removes all my pads and tampons, then to their room to take a few books off the shelf and suck on Daniels b and then to her bathroom to empty the cupboard and drawers she can reach. She never stops and has an attitude. She also doesn't like it when David and I hug. She must think he is hurting me because she starts crying and screaming like really crying and hard as soon as he hugs me then stops as soon as he pulls away. She is currently into climbing and fell off the kitchen table landing head first on the tile. Don't worry she didn't learn and was right back up on the chair later that day. She is not my child that way. I've always been cautious and I still am and I think she is here to teach me to relax. She also is a big tease. She loves to pick on the older kids too. She steals binkies right out of their mouths and makes them cry. She is kind of a bully but a sweet sassy one. She loves going outside every time I open the door she screams to remind me not to forget her. She loves Daniel and he really is such a great older brother. He takes really good care of her but he does like to tackle her too.
David is doing awesome with his new job. He is the Director of operations for the gyms down here and he is always busy and doing different things every day. They are getting ready to move a gym to a new location and reopen it next week so he's been busy ordering TVs, renting U Hauls and tomorrow will be moving equipment. He is also busy with Elders Quorum visiting families and attending early morning meetings on Sunday. I'm surviving, I miss home at least weekly but I'm getting better. I have a fun group of friends and we do a lot of fun activities. We have book club and I'd really like to start a bunco group. We will see how that works out. I've got a lot on my plate with Playgroup each week and my house and kids.

Over all we love it here. We know this is where we are supposed to be and that Heavenly Father is very aware of our family and our needs. We are blessed and that is the one thing I need to focus on the most.

Blue

I'm feeling it this week. I don't know if its the ridiculous heat and inability to go outside for more than 5 seconds without sweating or if I'm just being lame but I miss Utah. I miss living around the corner from my parents house and being able to stop by whenever I needed/wanted to. I miss my mom stopping by on her way to/from where ever for no particular reason. I miss cool nights in the mountains camping with my close friends and family. I miss Winger Wings and Cafe Rio pulled pork salads and burritos smothered in that green goodness. I miss real grass. I miss my mother in-laws house and her garden and the wonderful free produce it supplied me each fall. I miss the mountains protecting me from the rest of the world. I miss being so close to the temple. I miss family.
Its so funny, all my married life I've wanted a fun group of friends that I can go hang out with and now I have it but I had to give up the one thing that I always had, my family. Growing up my family moved a lot. My dad liked change and we learned to live with it. No matter where we went though I always had my best friends right there with me. I believe that my sisters and I have a very unique relationship because we had to rely on each other. We were each others best friends. Now for the first time in my life I've moved away without them. They aren't here with me and it hurts my heart. It hurts so bad. I also miss my mom. She is such an amazing person and I love her. I'm not good at expressing my feelings and since I've been married I think we've grown apart but she was always my confidant. I could tell her anything and she would listen. She taught me so much i really admire her and all she has done in life.
I know that I'm where I'm supposed to be. I know that this is right but sometimes it is so hard.

Dance Party

If you were here right now these are the songs we'd be dancing to...
Loving You Tonight Andrew Allen
Price Tag Jesse J
Keep Your Head Up Andy Grammer
Rhythm love Plain White T's
Good Life One Republic
Best Love Song T. Pain
Poker Face Lady GaGa
1234 Plain White T'S
Party Rock Anthem LMFAO
Born This Way Lady GaGa
Firework Katy Perry
Just the Way you are Bruno Mars
OMG Usher
One and Only Teitur
Just can't get enough Black Eyed peas
since you aren't here download them and join us where ever you are.

Family Pictures

We got our pictures taken when we went to Utah. Jourdan our cousin (OK she is mine by marriage but I claim her because I love her just as if she was always mine) was so kind and woke up early one morning to take our family pictures. I wanted Maggie's 1 year and some updated family pictures. My one request was for the mountains to be our backdrop. They turned out amazing. Here are just a few of my Favorites

Hospital

Yep we took a little trip in the ambulance and stayed in the hospital for 2 days for them to tell us "we don't know what happened." The good news, nothing is wrong with her. She is a perfectly healthy 1 year old little girl. All tests (and they did plenty) and x-rays came back normal. Glad that its all over and my Fancy Pants is back.

Black & White Birthday Party

Not your typical color scheme for a 1 year old little girl but we also celebrated Grandpa Browns 60th since family was in town. It was so fun to walk out the back door and see all the decorations and party guest dressed in black & white. Maggie Loved her cake and all her gifts. Thanks to everyone that helped us celebrate.

4th of July

We got to spend with family and well it doesn't get any better than that. Dad was there with us even though we didn't get a picture of him. He was able to spend a whole week with us in Utah.