Sinking

Lately I feel like I'm sinking underneath all the responsibilities that I have. My house sadly comes after everything. If you walked in you would be able to tell that at one glance. There is always a pile of unfolded clean laundry somewhere and more piles waiting to be put into the wash. The floor always has stuff on it. Stuff could be anything, toys, clothes, food droppings from my darling little ones, whatever "it" is, it's just stuff. I'd really like to cut back on the amount of stuff we have. I'd love to be a minimalist but I fall more a long the lines of pack rat/hoarder. The windows all have fingerprints or face prints on them. The walls are colored on and bare the remains of thrown food/drinks (which I've tried with no luck to remove). The kitchen counters are always cluttered and the dishes are waiting to be loaded in the dishwasher that is waiting to be unloaded. This is my life. I know that something needs to change. I know that I have this really great schedule hanging on my fridge and if I actually kept to it my house would look amazing. I have a problem sticking to schedules though. I'd much rather be out enjoying the sunshine at a park then scrubbing my kitchen floors or looking at the animals at the zoo then folding laundry. I've become lazy. I blame most of this on my lack of sleep. I can't remember the last time I slept all night, without having one of my children wake up or without me having to get up to pee (pregnancy). I honestly think its been over a year. I'm tired, exhausted most days and when I get a spare moment all I want to do is lay on the couch and do NOTHING. I also blame it on my priority list. My kids are just more important to me then this dirty old house. I love them and I love spending time with them and I can't do everything right now. So I choose them over everything else. Which I don't think is bad but I've got to get back to a more balanced life. I'm ranting and this probably makes no sense to anyone but I need to put it down.